How to get anyone to reply to your email

Most people do not understand why they get low reply rates to emails, messages or invitations.

There are many valid reasons why you might not get a reply. The recipient might have difficulties to see the value in your connection request or message or merely is super busy.

One of the most common reasons is a misunderstanding of day to day social dynamics.

Most people only think about the world from their point of view. They cannot truly put themselves in other people’s shoes. Since they are in their own mind, they already have 100% of the information. The problem is that the other person has 0%.

If you are not able to convey enough information in your first three to five sentence, that will allow the recipient to get a clear idea of how both of you can be of value to each other, your chance of a “no reply” skyrocket instantly.

This in combination with the fact that we often overestimate the strength of relationships. Someone who knows you very well might have a huge amount of tolerance to let you talk and explain yourself. People who do not know you usually have a very low threshold.

Today I share my four-step process on how to research and write messages and connection requests that have a very good chance of getting a response.


Gather as much information about the other person as possible.

Check out their LinkedIn profile and expand all sections. If they have a link to their website, check it out. Do they publish articles and posts? If yes, what are they writing about? What about their LinkedIn company page? Try to read as much as possible.

Check out their other social media profiles and google their name and see what else you can find out.


During your research write down anything that can give you a better understanding of their interests and values.

What’s interesting to them?

What are their goals?

How can you align their interests and goals with yours? How can you add value to them to help with their goals?


Now that you have a better understanding of the other person think about if there is a real possibility for a future collaboration or would it be one-sided?

By one-sided I mean, that you can see 100 ways how the other person can be of value to you, but only of very few how you can be of value to them.


Now it is time to draft your value proposition. Here is one of my simplified message templates that you can use as an outline to write your own message.

Hi Tim,

→ Introduction

I read your article about … / My friend … recommended you to me as the expert on … / I searched for someone who … and found you.

→ What’s caught your interest (overlap with your story)

I noticed you work at… / I read your article on … I like your point about … / ask a question / add a new thought.

I followed your advice on … and got … results.

→ Bridge

I saw that you’re offering/looking for…

→ Collaboration proposal

I want to book your services/do a skills exchange.

If you can help me with … I can help you with …

→ Call to Action

If this sounds interesting, let’s …


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